Is Monogamy a type of Wood?

Last week, a friend called me wanting to see him over dinner. This friend is hard to see on normal occasions, but I was happy to oblige, as I have not seen him for many weeks. He has been dating this guy for many months. The guy was younger, and more amorous in the bedroom. Anyway I went and met my friend for dinner in the gay ghetto of Darlinghurst. He seemed upset and emotional. I was wondering what the problem was, especially as the younger boyfriend was taking up a lot of his time. So the announcement came, the young guy was seeing two other men at the same time. Not just as shags, but as actual boyfriends.

I was shocked. How could the young guy find the time, and still stay over night many times at my friends place. Like everything in life, there are always signs. I asked my friend if he saw any of them, and he said ‘No’. But the more he thought about it the more he noticed there were.

The signs he said were;

* The battery on his phone would always run out at an interesting time, so no communication could take place.

* He would get very upset if he had to go to a certain place (in Oxford Street, Sydney).

*The young guy would want to be monogamous, and hope that there will be no reason to see other men (obviously a psychological plan)

* Strange messages would appear on his phone.

One night, my friend said, that the young guy was asleep, he did have a hunch that something wasn’t Kosher. He looked at his phone, which was unlocked, and looked at all the text messages. That’s when he realised he was in competition with two others, and others just for sex.

This case isn’t just to do with men, gay or straight, but women too.

Here is a story:

A few years ago, I was working with someone who was happily married with this woman, who he met on speed dating, when it was a thing. They later fell in love and lived together by the water in Kirribilli, Sydney. For work, the girlfriend was working for a multinational finance company. She would pop off here and there for days or weeks. Whilst she was in Melbourne for work, he decided to go to Newcastle for the weekend to see some friends. He enjoyed the accommodations of the newly opened Crowne Plaza, and met his friends nearby. One morning, at breakfast, he noticed what looked to be his girlfriend. He was doing double glances. He secretly hid near a wall in the restaurant. He noticed a man with her. They both looked pretty smitten together. They were holding hands across the table. He was now sure it was her. 

He didn’t do anything. That is until he got out his phone, and called his girlfriend. She answered, and wondered how he was was. He wondered the same. She was saying how good Melbourne was, and how the food is divine. He told her that he was in Newcastle just for the weekend, as it was a quick thought thing. She changed her tone, and was a bit short with him on not telling her his movements whilst she was away on business.

Anyway, he decided to go to Reception and ask for the key to her room. Even though he was staying at the hotel himself, the Reception people didn’t recognise him, as it was new staff starting. He advised his girlfriend was staying. He hoped that the room would be under her name, which it was. He got the key, and looked inside. He wondered if the guy was staying with her, or if she was alone. He lied on the double bed, and waited. 

Twenty mins later, she showed up with the man that he saw earlier. That moment was when the relationship ended for both of them. 

The story goes, the girlfriend was seeing the guy for months, and would regularly go to Newcastle for ‘catch ups’. She said she still had love and affection, but couldn’t be monogamous. 

Does monogamy work, or is it a piece of wood?

There are many stories in every culture and creed of affairs, mistresses, fuck buddies and the like. Are humans really able to be with that one person for a certain time?

My grandfather once had five mistresses on the side at one time. He was a very busy man. My grandmother knew, and was hurt at first, but got used to it. She may have had someone too. Who knows.

With many people looking for love, I often see the issues that come from looking for that one person. In my book, I see Love and Sex as separate. I am sure it can be intertwined, but generally it is separate. Is that why we are confused and try and hide our extra curricular activities. If we were honest, we could have love, and perhaps one night a week or a month, we can have a ‘hall pass’. Some couples actually attend Swinging parties, or other events such as threesomes. Others may go on the internet and look at Porn.

We hear stories from the world of media about people cheating. People that cheat may be doing a natural thing. It’s such a grey area on what cheating really represents. Some say why cheat when you are in love with the one you’re with. But that’s the problem, the love may be there, but they may just want to try a different flavour. I am not saying cheating is right. However, look at earlier cultures of the Greeks and Romans. They used to be with their wives, but would also have urges for men too. It was normal back then. Now, we have swept it under the carpet.

But why do people cheat? There are different circumstances on why. Maybe the sex has dwindled or they are just amourous and need sex more regularly than their partners may want. Maybe they are into both sexes, and have urges for the one they are not with most of the time. There are many reasons why. I do believe Monogamy should be a type of Wood, and not some rule to live by, as most of us have ignored it at one point or another.

Exercise and its Merits

Well last week I was over hearing a group of people discussing their exercise routines and why they were not ‘losing any weight’. They were mainly female. They were wondering why their scales didn’t budge, but their clothes did seem different on them. I was fascinated in their conversations. I was wondering whether we have looked at exercise all wrong. Many people seem to think exercise equates to weight loss or muscle gain, but there is a lot more to it.

Exercise, and any other movement of any kind, gets the body moving. There are seven body systems, and they all work together. When the body moves, the blood flows to all areas of the body. The heart pumps, which creates the blood to flow. The digestive organs do their thing, which leads to better regularity. This is why people who do a lot of movement (say running, walking, skipping, boxing, swimming) have better bowel movements. Everything flows better with exercise.

Sweating is also beneficial when it comes to movement, as it cleanses the skin and gets the body to remove any toxicity through the pores which it can’t do through the bowels. Induced sweating can do the same thing, this often through saunas and steam rooms. I find infrared saunas fantastic, as you feel after the 40 minute session that you have ran 40 minutes non stop. This weekly in-conjunction with the exercise routine can do the body wonders.

The human body was designed for moving. It is upsetting that we have now mastered the art of sitting. Sitting excessively can reduce the flow of the body, and can cause it to become lethargic and increase inflammation over time. There are many business that now have standing desks and also normal desks, but with medicine balls, so the body’s core can get a slight workout during the day.

We have now understood the impacts the body has on 21st century living. Where I live, there are 9 gyms in the vicinity, and that includes some yoga studios. I guess we have the fittest people in the Sydney metro area. But people do their workouts thinking it will give them more muscular bodies, or desired weight loss. But when you change the way how exercise can really help you from beyond the current ideas, you can face the world easily. Exercise increases endorphins in the Brain making you happier and able to think clearly. People can get their best ideas from long walks to running workouts and the like. It puts you in the moment. I have on many occasions been a bit down, but once I get my walking shoes on, and walk for a particular time along the coast, or hiking through the bush, I become happier and the world seems much more positive.

So exercise and movement is not just for weight loss and muscle gains, but it can lead to clear and healthy skin, better digestion, healthier outlook on life, and happiness.

Enjoy.

It’s all a Game, but no one really Wins

The Ego is a funny thing. Well not so funny. Sometimes it can be fun and enjoyable, hard and complicated, and at times,  sadistic and cruel. The Ego is playing a game with you. Actually You are playing a game with the entire world.

Your ego loves playing the game. It loves comparing itself to others to see who is winning. To see who has the most money. To see who has the most power. To see who is the best. To see who is happier. To see who is making the most out of their life.

Every person you meet your ego is sizing them up. Deciding who is ahead in the game. But here is the catch. We may make the comparisons but we constantly feel we are losing. We know there is something out there we don’t have. We may not even know what it is. We just have that empty feeling that tells us it is missing.

Guess what?

That empty feeling isn’t going to go away. If we look out into the world to fill the void, the empty space may actually get bigger and bigger. We are chasing something we can never catch. We are playing a game in which there can be no winner. Yet we keep playing the game and sometimes the game flies completely out of our control.

Your mind has over 50,000 thoughts a day. Are you going to tell me you are in control of all those thoughts? Do you even know what those thoughts are? Most are repetitive and useless. The same thoughts that you have over and over every
day, but accomplish nothing. Most just bring worry and misery. Even though you aren’t consciously aware of all the thoughts you know they are there.

You can feel them. There is that underlying current of unease that is in all of us. Sometimes we feel it more intensely. Sometimes in moments of intense anger or grief it can overwhelm us. But even in moments of relative peace we can still feel it lurking in the background. The game keeps us searching, comparing and fighting for relief but there is none. Perhaps brief flashes of liberation, but they are always fleeting.

So is there anything we can do?  Yes! Quit playing the game. Surrender. Just give up. Decide you are not going to play the
game anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying give up on life. I am saying end the game. Now watch what happens in your life.

Turn your life over to your higher self. Trust in the part of you that is infinite. A part of you that, believe it or not, is omnipotent – all knowing. Why in the word would you want to limit yourself to your finite mind? A mind so cluttered and full of lies and deceit
that it really can’t even see the world for what it truly is.

Accept that you are more than this jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions, walking sometimes aimlessly in a trap of flesh and bone. Realize that you have the ability to access infinite possibilities. Understand there is no need for competition, because everyone has this ability. Everyone is pure unlimited potential. You can coordinate the universe so precise that anything you desire is possible. How? Embrace the unknown and uncertainty. Know that everything you could ever want is
yours for the taking. Just don’t get caught up in the “how” and “why” anymore. Find the joy in yourself. What makes you feel good? Let that feeling guide you. If you are having fun in what you are doing, everything else will take care of itself.

The Devil Wears Prada

Welcome to 2014. Yes, a new year with new beginnings and changes abound for many around the world.

It has been a while since I last wrote on this Blog. There are so many things that have happened since the turn of 2014, that like magic, things have changed in my life somewhat.

Currently I’m wearing my Prada sunglasses (from Thailand), and sipping Green Tea on my verandah in the morning sun realising that I have had the Devil inside me – not literally – but in my head as Ego. Since I was 16, I have been scared of driving. Go forward 18 years later, and with some slight pressure, I decided that 2014 would be the year to start learning. My Ego was giving me the negative scary scenario about how driving is bad and scary and how Sydney drivers are terrible. Well Sydney drivers may be terrible at times, but well it shouldn’t be that scary. So on my recent 34th birthday, I received vouchers for learner driving. A week later was my first hypnosis treatment to combat the fear of driving.

man in car

Weeks later, I was in a car learning how to drive. The Devil inside me (Ego) was gone and I felt that driving is the thing that can open many doors for me – not just in greater employment opportunities – but driving people around, as they have done for me in the past decades.

So 2014 has started with changing myself for the better. Next week I’m beginning Italian lessons.

What have you achieved so far in 2014? I would like to know.

T

Joy to The World

halloween
Currently it is the 31st of October 2013 in Sydney Australia, and it is a general spring day. Today is Halloween, where it is based on a Pagan ideal to celebrate the death of the Sun (Winter is approaching – Northern Hemisphere). However, the Sun will be Born again around the 22nd of December for the 3 days afterwards which would be the 25th of December when  the Sun is alive and the days will be getting longer from that time forward – in the Northern Hemisphere. As I’m in Australia, it’s opposite…the Sun is already alive and well.

Just now I was sitting on my verandah reading and enjoying what the sun has to offer. It gives energy and creates synthesis for plants and trees, so it can give life. But it can also give joy to those who bask in it.

What also can give joy is following your intuition and your sixth sense. Recently I have noted some strange and amazing things that have happened to me and my friends in the past months. With myself, it was seeing scenes of TV shows and movies, and then moments or hours later, there is the scene. Sometimes I would turn the TV on and see the scene I was thinking about a lot earlier.

Also for me, and for some of my other friends, there would be an urge to do something that you wouldn’t question, even though it was at the back of our minds, I would be able to pick certain horses that would win, but with low odds, so I wouldn’t bother betting on it, or that someone will be entering my life again, and I would think about them prior.

I would also notice songs playing and they would attribute to the questions I would be asking about things. Sometimes I would even hear the same song several times a day in completely different locations.

Sometimes I would have a problem and sleep on it, as the Ego sleeps aswell, which means your intuitive self is still awake. I would wake up with the answer, and solution. Many of my friends create their lives from their intuitive dreams, and I am just discovering it.

All About Neem

neem-oil1

Recently I was in Noosa, Queensland – a place I fell in love with so much that I am to visit again next year – hopefully February. Whilst I was there, I bought something that I have known about for years, and something  people from the subcontinent use daily for many issues. It’s something that can be used for skin problems, hair issues, as an insect repellent and even to protect tooth decay. It’s Neem.

Neem is a plant. The following are some useful information on the uses of the Neem plant.

  • Bark
    • It is a bitter, cool, acrid, astringent, and refrigerant herb. Useful for fever, loss of appetite, tiredness, coughs and intestinal worm infestation. Helpful for healing wounds and to combat vomiting, excessive thirst and skin diseases.

 

  • Leaves
    • Are used in the treatment of Vatik disorders (that is neuro-muscular pains) and is also reported to remove toxins, preventing damage from free radicals and purifying the blood as well as beneficial in eye disorders and insect bite poisons.
  • Fruits
    • The fruit is bitter, purgative, anti-hemorrhodial and anthelmintic in nature.
  • Flowers
    • The flowers are used in conditions of Pitta (balancing the body heat) and Kapha (cough formation) and by nature are astringent and anthelmintic.
  • Seeds
    • They are bitter and have anthelmintic (vermifuge – destroys and expels intestinal worms) properties, as well as being anti-bacterial.
  • Oil
    • The oil derived from crushing the seeds is a powerful anthelmintic compound and has a very wide spectrum of action and is highly medicinal in nature, which includes being a spermicidal compound (this action is because of the volatile fraction coded as NIM-76) s as well as anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, etc.

Neem is a one stop shop for everything to heal the body, or even prevent illness. The following are the benefits of Neem Oil, which is from the seeds of the Neem plant.

  • Cuts, wounds, minor skin disorders and mosquito and insect repellant
    • Mix with Vaseline or a carrier oil in a ratio of 1:5 and apply to affected area.
  • Athlete’s foot
    • Add 15 ml to warm water and soak the feet in this preparation.
  • Head lice
    • Mix 50/50 with a carrier oil and massage into the hair and scalp. Leave on for 1 hour and shampoo. Repeat once weekly for 3 weeks or as long as the problem persists.
  • Stop mosquitoes breeding
    • Spray or pour oil on all breeding areas. The oil can be emulsified (to mix with water) by adding normal dish washing liquid to it.
  • Plant protection
    • Add 30 ml to 1 liter of water and add 1 ml of dishwashing liquid. Mix well and spray immediately for plant protection. Do not store the mixture; make fresh formulation for each spray. Spray the mixture on top of all the leaves and on the undersides where insects often hide – you can also spray it around the roots.
  • Lamp oil to ward off mosquitoes
    • Add 5 – 10% oil to any lamp oil and burn lamp normally.
  • Dandruff and itchy scalp
    • Add a few drops to your regular shampoo.
  • Ticks and fleas on animals
    • Add a few drops to your normal pet shampoo (ratio should be 30 ml (1 oz.) to 240 ml (8 oz.) shampoo). (Personally we have found that plain baby shampoo works the best.
  • Warts
    • Apply 1 drop of undiluted oil directly on warts once per day. Watch carefully for any possible irritation, and should that occur discontinue use. Continue for 2-3 weeks.
  • Psoriasis, cold sores, eczema, athletes foot, skin ulcers and other fungal skin conditions
    • Mix 1 tablespoon (15 ml) with 4 ounces (120 ml) carrier oil such as jojoba or grape seed oil and apply twice a day to affected skin. Should skin irritation occur, discontinue use, or make mixture with less Neem oil.
  • Pet and livestock spray for ticks, fleas, mange mites and other pests
    • Mix 1 ounce (30 ml) oil with 1 gallon (3.8 liter) water and add a few drops of dishwashing liquid (to emulsify the oil). Place mixture into a spray bottle or other type of sprayer, and spray animals once every two weeks. (This mixture can be used on indoor and outdoor plants as well as flowers and vegetables.)
  • Cleaning the house
    • Add to carpet shampoos and spray mattresses to kill dust mites.
  • Hand wash
    • Add a couple of drops to liquid hand soap for antibacterial properties.
  • FOR ALL THE ABOVE
    • As Neem oil has a rather strong smell you might want to add a few drops of your essential oil to any mixture to mask the smell. Lavender or lemongrass essential oils work well – but you could add your personal favorite.

There is also a product extracted form the Neem leaves in an aqueous form. This is great for the skin, hair, as an insect repellent and much more. It has similar benefits to the oil, but smells much cleaner.

Neem really is a great natural product.

For further Info:

http://www.essentialoils.co.za/neem-oil-uses-used-for.htm

http://theneemman.com/

 

The Strange, The Weird, and The Wonderful…

Urine_sample

The Discovery Channel is a great source of fascination when it comes to the strange, the weird, and the wonderful. Even You Tube has many insights into the world we live in through strange docos and unique stories.

I cam across a documentary on The Discovery Channel many years ago about the unique way of cleaning way before the ‘industrial revolution’. The show was about ways to combat issues in life with strange uses. I was intrigued and wondered what sort of information would be told to the viewer.

The show also covered the many uses for certain things the body produces.

Below are some ideas that may seem unorthodox, but can work (warning for those who are squeamish).

In ancient Rome, Egypt and even in Victorian times, one of the methods of cleaning clothes, skin and as a rinser for hair was the use of urine. I know weird right. But the chemicals in clean urine can be a stain remover, cleansing agent and as a toner. It is said to be good for combatting Tinea and even used as a protection for the skin disease – that’s if you pee on your feet. If you think it’s weird to use urine as a by product, you’ll find that Urea (urine) is an ingredient in many cosmetic products. So you’ll find that you may already wash with it – but the animal kind.

Another strange thing was Dog saliva. If a dog licks your feet, hands, wherever you have a skin problem, Dog saliva may help you.

I do have a friend that did get his Dog to lick his feet, which had a wart on it (gross I know). After a few goes of Dog saliva, the thing vanished. I once tried Windex instead for a wart on my finger. It worked just aswell.

Lastly, there is another body fluid that the body produces that helps increase the population. There are books about its use as an ingredient in cook book style publications – honest to God. But I think we’ll leave that for another time…that is unless you want to Google it now. ;)

 

 

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/science/2013/08/from-gunpowder-to-teeth-whitener-the-science-behind-historic-uses-of-urine/

How to Act Busy Without Really Trying

work-smart

For the past 15 years, I have done many jobs in many areas – beauty retail, office admin, finance, media, public relations and marketing, local government, and even acting.

It was in the office environments that I learnt to not take too seriously. I mean, you do have a job to do, but having that time to talk to colleagues or friends is very important. There have been times where I would not really start ‘working’ until 11am, even though I would get in at 9am.

It was when I was working in finance when I discovered that working smarter was more of an option than working harder, especially as there was no acknowledgement in the first place. It was a great place to work, and the people were great.

So every morning I would arrive at work and turn the computer on. I would read my emails. Then I would perhaps go to the toilet. I would carry a folder and papers and go and talk to some people/colleagues/work friends. Then come back to my desk and look at that days work. Then I would be peckish and head downstairs and get something to eat. Go back up, eat and then begin my actual work day. Then two hours later, it would be lunch.

To be fair, I did all my work and some, but to enjoy the time at the office, you need to enjoy yourself some what. To this day if I am in an office environment, I would always carry papers and a folder to go and talk to someone, which means “I am busy, and on the way to doing something important”. See if you don’t have anything in your hands and you are having a chin wag, people would assume that you are not working, but having those ‘special’ papers and a folder, means business.

 

 

Don’t Worry, Be Happy – for Two Days?

mr-men-mr-worry

As I’m writing this I looking out the window toward the ocean. It’s another nice spring day in Sydney.

Earlier, I was looking at my emails and read a blog about ‘worry’. I do tend to worry about stuff – whether it would be about my health, my finances, my family, or the logistics of how things would work out. One of my worst habits are that I have a tendency for obsessions with perfectionism and high expectations. Sometimes it’s great, but other times – not so. It really can be exhausting on the mind and body. Looking around society, I’m not the only one.

The blog post mentioned the idea to allow two days to not worry about anything. I was thinking ‘wow’ –  two days to not worry about anything.

I continued reading and learnt the two days are YESTERDAY and TOMORROW.  

YESTERDAY is gone, and will never come back. TOMORROW has not arrived yet and is ‘beyond our direct control’. There are so many possibilities for TOMORROW. So TODAY is the only time to enjoy what this day has to offer.

YESTERDAY and TOMORROW bog us down, it’s TODAY that counts.

Enjoy TODAY’s journey.

 

 

See below for more information:

http://donslifephilosophy.wordpress.com/2013/09/30/no-worry-for-two-days/